Sharing my life and love of cross stitch. Thoughts about this and that.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Still No Stitching; Dad & Brother Jim

It was brought to my attention that not all the Page tabs/links across the top of the posts were working. I found it necessary to move the PAGES list to the right column, but I much prefer it on top.

I keep THINKING about stitching. I have stitching I want or need to do: a long overdue square for a charity project (they graciously moved forward without me but I do intend to finish and send to be used for a future project), something for the new baby of a woman I do volunteer work with/for, etc.. I went so far as to look at my unfinished project, pick up a couple of loose floss bobbins and hold a needle a couple of times in the past couple of weeks, but haven't taken a single stitch since early July. I can't explain it.

I am feeling the loss of my Mother more and more keenly and deeply. I've had more tears and brief bursts of gut wrenching sobs in the past 2 or 3 weeks than in the previous 3 months. I can't explain it.

For the 4th time in the past 3 months something has inexplicably fallen: twice off the ledge in the bathroom into the sink, and twice off the counter on to the floor - each time shattering an empty vase I had sitting there. I wasn't even in the bathroom 3 of the 4 times and no where near what fell last night. If it's Mom, I suspect it's because she's really angry at me - she has good reason. Otherwise, I can't explain it.

Dad actually got on a plane and flew off to visit an old friend for a week. He's steadfastly refused to fly for the past 20 years, and from the manner in which he was way too quiet and shuffled into the terminal when I dropped him off, I seriously thought he was going change his mind - and hoped if he did it was before I got all the way home. When he got back after a visit that was more enjoyable than he expected, I suggested he think about a trip to Pasadena to visit my brother and wife. Dad's never been in the house they bought in 1999. I truly hope Jim can find a few free days where that can happen land Dad will do it.

Speaking of my brother, he'll be home again next weekend for a follow-up visit, to choose the Humpty Dumpty he wants to remember Mother by, and to play in UT Arlington's Jazz Band Alumni concert on the 23rd. When he called to tell the Chair he'd be there, he was asked "have you played your horn recently" - the need to ascertain if the former student has kept up his or her
chops and won't squeak an inopportune note. As soon as Jim started rattling off things he's done in just the past few weeks, such as the Kardashian wedding, the 2012 Emmy's Governor's Ball, being involved in arranging and recording new music to be piped in for your listening enjoyment at the Entrance and along Main Street in Disneylands around the world - just to name a representative few, the guy asked if he'd like to play a duet before the full band/orchestra came out. Sure! He bought his ticket home, then later the same day got a call to play a you'd-know-the-name gig the same weekend. As much as he would have liked to, he turned it down. Jim doesn't boast about himself unless specifically asked what he's been involved in, so forgive his big sister if she does a bit of boasting for him. I'm trying to get him to let me create a professional web page for him, but so far he's still mulling. He  leads a generally normal, pretty homebody but really hard working and interesting life. But most important of all, he's a really great brother! One of the organizations he works with. See Impulse. I think he also occasionally subs with some of the other groups as well.


Bronny said...

I fully understand that your Mother is visiting and trying to get your attention by moving objects off shelves.
Mine did too.
Talk to her, ask her quetions, get angry at her, although she may not be able to verbally communicate, there will be a way that you will get your answers and know that she is listening.
It's nice to be able to brag about family too - your brother sounds really talented.

LindaMc said...

Bronny, thank you for your kind and supportive words. There's something I promised Mom I would do before she died. I barely got started, and she died years before I ever expected her to. Since then I've found myself in a total lethargy I can't seem to get past. The only thing I am an absolute expert at is procrastination. I'm certain she's angry at me about it. Rather than perhaps causing things to fall and break, I wish she could offer some positive, even magical. assistance instead. She'd offered many times over the years but I always declined her help out of sheer embarrassment.