I was at Wal-Mart Saturday to buy a power strip. I was meandering through the towel aisle when a woman asked if I knew where the children's towels were. I admitted I didn't know anything about children's towels, thinking something larger than fingertip but smaller than bath. Apparently they are full size with cute appliques. I commented it had been a long time since I'd had a child to buy for, and she said something about future grandchildren. Now there's where I made the mistake. I should have just smiled and nodded. Instead out of my mouth comes "I won't be a grandmother." A look of "oh my, what have I said" crossed her face. So I quickly added, "My daughter decided a long time ago not to have children." Something about surely not. But I assured her I had had about 15 years to come to terms with that reality. She murmured something sympathetic and we parted. I think I made it about 5 steps before my eyes totally welled up with tears. At least I didn't burst out sobbing in linens.
I had such wonderful grandmothers, both who passed by the time I was 20. I still miss them very much. I had been looking forward to being a grandmother since DD was in junior high. I even started a cross stitch Peter Rabbit quilt way back then. Twenty-five years later, those stitched pieces still sit in a plastic bag waiting in vain to be turned into a special grandchild quilt. Learning that DD didn't plan on ever having children was like taking a good hunk of what I thought and planned my future life would be and applying a hatchet to it.
I would have made a wonderful grandmother.
I thought I had, but obviously I've never really come to terms with it.
alphabet (5) Bastin (4) Book of Kells (2) Christmas (40) Critters (8) Cross Stitch (128) Easter (7) EMS (2) emvolunteer (6) Family (46) Father's Day (2) Finishes (9) finishing (2) Floral (10) freebie (106) Halloween (11) hanukkah (1) Holidays (15) LMc Designs (9) My Artwork (3) One Over One (2) Orchid (2) ornaments (6) Patriotic (12) Pillowcase (1) Prairie Schooler (19) Random thoughts (16) Thanksgiving (6) tutorials (6) Valentines (4) wedding (4)